Short Hills

Jesse Fried • Jun 18, 2019


It’s a well-known fact that you can’t buy happiness, but money can solve a lot of practical problems. If you have a lot of money, here’s an example of the kind of headache you don’t have to worry about.

Your neighbors are moving out, and the mansion next door to yours is on the market. You’re concerned by an increasingly common practice in your area: folks buy an old house, tear it down, and build the biggest, tackiest status symbol of a house they can fit on the property. The existing mansion is run down and seems in danger, so you decide to take matters into your own hands. You buy it, demolish it, build a new, irresistible but tasteful mansion, and put it back on the market. The CEO of a major corporation headquartered in New York buys it. Problem solved.




Interpretation: